Better Off Red

Lindsay when we first me her: as an adorable imp (times two) in The Parent Trap

The Stylist really seems to be embracing redheads lately. Last week they offered makeup tips for redheads. Today they’ve called out a celebrity for something that I’ve always taken mild offense at. In an open letter to Lindsay Lohan, The Stylist implores the troubled actress to go back to her old style to help her in her comeback. First on their list? Ditch the blonde and go back to red hair. I’ve always thought the blonde totally washed her out. It just doesn’t suit her. She’s also been a brunette, which looked only slightly better than the blonde.

The second piece of advice The Stylist dished out to Lindsay is to get her old face back. Which means no more self-tanner, collagen injections, and false eyelashes. But most importantly, it means she should STOP COVERING UP HER FRECKLES. She probably doesn’t think freckles can be sexy on a grown woman, but her original face is a more natural and refreshing look than the monster makeup she’s currently sporting. It’s okay for a grown woman to have freckles. Really.

But I know how Lindsay feels. When she first colored her hair, I knew it was because she wanted to avoid the unwanted attention that often comes with being a redhead. She probably was teased growing up. I can totally sympathize with you there, Linds. She and I actually have a lot in common. We’re both from Long Island. We both have red hair. I’m sure she was called names as a child, like I was. Carrot top? Heard it too many times to count. Pippi Longstocking? I never wore my hair in braids again. In junior high I had my own pack of Mean Girls to deal with. They would chant at me “I’d rather be dead than a redhead” (which, I would reply, was fine by me). Not to mention all the jokes about having a bad temper, which was the complete opposite of my personality. But for all of the insults my schoolmates hurled at me, I also received a lot of compliments on my hair when I was a child. These compliments were mostly from strangers, and always from adults (who, unlike children, were too mature to make fun of someone for being a redhead). The compliment I received most was “You can’t get that shade out of a bottle.” But when you’re a child who is often teased, the insults far outweigh the compliments.

Also like Lindsay, I, too, tried being someone who wasn’t a redhead. When I was in college I dyed my hair black. It was the Eighties, and I did it partly to be punk. But on a deeper level, I did it because I wanted to get away from the stereotypes and the stupid names. But sometimes it takes losing something to make one appreciate it even more. When I got rid of my red hair, I lost the one thing that had defined me my entire life, for better or worse. Plus it looked like crap! I ended up going to a salon two weeks later and having my hair bleached back to red. I haven’t colored it since. Although now that I’m starting to see grey hairs coming in, it’s got me thinking about coloring my hair again. It would be the perfect opportunity to try a new color to add a little excitement to my life. But I won’t. I’ll just look for a shade that most closely resembles my natural color. And with the popularity of red hair since Geena Davis and Susan Sarandon both dyed their hair red for Thelma and Louise, there are so many more options for red hair among the commercial hair color brands. I bet I can get that shade out of a bottle now.

So here’s hoping Lindsay will get her act together and embark on the next phase of her life and her career. At twenty-five, she’s got many good years ahead of her, provided she takes care of herself.

In an homage to The Stylist’s Style Evolution feature, here’s my own Lindsay Lohan’s Style Evolution:

Sweet and innocent in Mean Girls

Fresh-faced and healthy-looking, but the self-tanning to hide the freckles has already begun

As a brunette.

Positively skeletal.

A hot mess

Her new look, which ages her by 15 years. Real Housewives of Long Island, anyone?

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