Baby Lips

I have been a lip balm fanatic ever since I bought my first Lip Smacker in junior high. When I saw the commercials for Maybelline New York’s Baby Lips Moisturizing Lip Balms ($3.99), they reminded me of those heady days in the late Seventies when I would spend my allowance on Lip Smackers and Maybelline’s Kissing Potion – the only two fun lip products aimed at teenagers back then. When I saw them at Walgreens they were on sale, buy one get one for half off. So I bought two. I went on a Maybelline kick and also bought two of their Color Tattoo eyeshadows, also BOGO 50% off. I gave the Color Tattoo shadows a rave review. Unfortunately, I can’t do the same for Baby Lips.

I bought two of them, “Pink Punch” (in the pink tube), and “Quenched” (in the blue tube). The bright colors and the Stephen-Sprouse-style graffiti font instantly reminded me of the 80s, when I was in high school. Unfortunately, the design of the packaging is the only thing I liked about these lip balms.

Maybelline calls Baby Lips lip balms “clinical strength.” The back of the card from the packaging lists some impressive statistics: lips are 82% less dry, 94% less rough, 77% more supple, and 77% better looking after using Baby Lips for four weeks. Baby Lips has an SPF of 20, and it tastes like it. I can definitely taste a mildly unpleasant aftertaste of sunscreen mixed in with the fruity flavor of “Pink Punch,” and “Quenched” just tastes odd. “Pink Punch” is tinted. In the tube it looks like a pretty pink, but on the lips it looks garish – more like those tinted zinc oxide sunblocks that lifeguards wear, and less like lip balm, gloss, or lipstick. I can’t wear it outside of the house. “Quenched” is clear. See the swatches below on my hand:

The ingredient list is a mile long for something as simple as a lip balm, and although it contains petrolatum, shea butter, and candelia wax, all excellent moisturizers, there are an awful lot of synthetic ingredients in it. Baby Lips have an oily, greasy feel to them when I apply them to my lips. In short, Baby Lips are a disappointment. They taste terrible, look garish, and feel so greasy that I can’t wear them for the four weeks it might take to see if my results match those of the clinical study. And at $4 apiece, there are far better lip balms for less money. I’ll stick with Lip Smackers.

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